How to Use Up Every Available Moment and Have Very Little to Show for It

It's fun! It's easy!

1. First, get a broadband connection.
2. Then go online.

That's all there is to it!

Remember when you had dial up? When you spent so much time waiting, waiting, waiting for the "World Wide Wait" to refresh those pages? When downloads took so much time that you occasionally had to stop and look around at the real world, where time actually passes, and notice that you were getting a bit achy from sitting in that same chair, hour after hour?

Well, that's a thing of the past! Now you can immerse yourself in the cyberworld of the internet for hours and hours, days and days, with no discernable break!

Yes, that's right! With DSL, I now have information coming at me SO FAST that it's impossible to even TRY to stop it! Food? Sleep? Exercise? Fresh air? Sunlight? WHO NEEDS IT?

It's a brave new world.

I'm tired of sitting here.